giving thanks

It's Canadian Thanksgiving and while my mom's turkey, mashed potato and all the fixings dinner is on the brain, so too is the need to give thanks for a couple of amazing people.

My life is pretty simple; I have a 9-5 job, after which I come home to make dinner for us or run off to the studio to teach.  B and I hang out, watch TV, think about house projects and yard projects.  I read, I study, I play with the dogs.  Weekends mostly consist of catching up on things like groceries, housework, meal plans, maybe a dinner out at one of our favourite restaurants or at a friend's.   Sometimes pure laziness ensues and we spend a day doing a whole lot of not very much, drinking lots of coffee.

And then there's Sunday evening; my favourite night of the week.  Almost every Sunday evening you will find us at my parents house.  They live a 10 minute walk away.  Some would say that's too close; I wouldn't have it any other way.  At this time of year, there's football, the rest of the year hockey so a good portion of Sunday evenings is spent yelling at the TV (we unfortunately don't root for the superstar teams of the leagues...but that's another story).  Dinner is always delightful, the conversation wildly varied and often colourful.  Dad and I live for debating (something to do with both of us being opinionated Aquarians no doubt) while mom and B shake their heads and retreat to their iphones or another room until we've exhausted all arguments.  And when all is said and done, we head home and get ready for another work week.

Not glamorous and it's pretty simple, but it's a life filled with things and people to be grateful for.  More than anything, I'm grateful for my amazing parents; parents who have taught me to recognize the great things and people in life; to be thankful for 15 minutes with someone, when I would have liked an afternoon;  to not sweat the small stuff (not quite there yet); to not make life about money; to take risks (yes dad, small ones that are not life threatening); to have compassion; to be patient (still have a LOT of work to do here); and quite simply to just enjoy the ride that life is.

Mom and Dad - you're awesome.  Everyone who knows you knows it and you should too.  I love you.

I'll be over to mash potatoes in a few hours.

saying no and slowing down

Gents, I'm not leaving you out but this one is targeted mainly at the ladies - and only because I hear it from them most often. 

Are you always saying yes?   Yes, I'll take on that project, yes I'll work a few extra hours, yes I'd love to help you with that, yes I'll... fill in the blank right?   "Yes" coupled with "I need to" as in - I need to do the laundry/make dinner/workout/get the kids to soccer/clean the kitchen and the list goes on again. 

And at some point we find ourselves either flat on our ass, sick and totally exhausted or crying in a heap because we're completely overwhelmed.   Because our bodies and minds have said "enough is enough".  

We want to be the perfect mom/wife/employee/student/friend who magically balances work, home, family, personal time, hobbies, etc and looks great doing it.   And saying no makes us feel like we'll be disappointing someone. 

All of this takes a toll on our health as I discovered this past week.   I've been going, going, going since the spring and in the process let my healthy eating habits and my regular workouts slide.   I mean there were new street food carts just outside my office building and they were sooooo awesome - hello shrimp po' boy sandwiches (did I mention I have a sensitivity to wheat....?)   And outside of work, instead of working out, I was working on the website or helping with fundraisers for the pool project. 

I travelled to San Francisco last week for a fabulous conference for work; I flew home on Friday and by the time B picked me up at the airport, I felt it - that scratchiness in the back of my throat.  

By Sunday I was sick as a dog and a week later, I'm still fighting it.   Still coughing, wheezing and I've barely been out of the house for an entire week.  In one word - miserable.  I missed out on spending time with visiting relatives, teaching my classes, being back at work, beautiful fall runs, walks with B and the dogs.  An entire week.  

And so, as I start to feel better, I also start to realize nobody is judging me for how much laundry is sitting & waiting to be done; how well I plan meals; or how regularly I workout - I am the only one judging me.  Friends and family may be disappointed that I can't help them with something; but that is their sentiment to own, not mine to be fearful of.  

And so begins the practice of saying yes ONLY because I am passionate about something and have the time to dedicate to it (and do it well).   I will fight the need to say yes out of fear of disappointing or out of a sense of obligation.   

Try it with me and let me know how you've managed to feel better about saying no and in turn, how you've managed to slow down, even if it's only a little!