By today's standard, the 21 year old college me would be viewed as healthy. PFFT!!! Not so much. My diet consisted of ramen noodles (a lot of them), chocolate croissants from a pastry shop at the school, pizza, burgers and oh yeah, hot dogs from the street cart after a night at the bar (read: beer and cocktails) with girlfriends. I worked out maybe 5 times a year. But I wore a size 5, so all good right?!
Like it or not, that's the message women and girls are bombarded with today - size matters. Size 10 is generally considered large and the insinuation is that = unhealthy. (It would seem I am doomed).
When did this happen? I honestly don't remember it. When was it that pant size became an indicator of how healthy a person is? And why the hell is it seemingly acceptable to judge people on that basis? Slim = healthy and fit. Size 10+ = not healthy, not fit.
I am not skinny; I likely never will be again (I was 20 for God's sake). Am I strong? Yep. Have a lot of muscle? Yep. Do I eat well? Yep. Exercise regularly? Yep. High blood pressure? No. High blood sugar? No. Heart disease? No again.
But I'm in the large category. Pity the size 16. And bigger than that? Well, you're just a lost cause.
Pay attention - that's the message women and girls are getting. You are a lost cause and you don't belong. There's a reason people with weight concerns steer clear of gyms, studios or go for walks at night when it's dark. Because they hear and society tells them you are a lost cause and you don't belong. They hear it and see it in the looks they get; in the remarks made quietly when you think they can't hear you; when they can't buy a simple pair of workout pants because they aren't available in plus sizes; when you sneer at their food choices (an occasional ice cream treat doesn't get a 2nd glance if you're slim, but God help you if you're overweight, even if the rest of your week is spent eating kale and drinking lemon water). In a million little ways, the same message gets conveyed over and over again.
So let's stop. Please stop. Change the message and stop judging. It starts with each of us. Don't judge. Don't assume. Be helpful. Be compassionate. Be kind.
I will never forget the story of a friend. A family medical emergency was her wake-up call. At the time, she weighed almost 250 pounds - at just over 5 feet tall, she was obese. She decided it was time to get healthy. She bought a gym membership. She showed up, got on the treadmill and someone laughed at her. She cried. She didn't know how the machine worked. Someone else took the opportunity to talk to her, to help her and offer her support. It was thanks only to the person who helped her that she stayed. She still wanted to run out of there every day. But she stayed. And she changed her life.
That's what each of us can do. We can help change someone's life.
This is the most beautiful post I have read anywhere in ages.
ReplyDeleteYou are so sweet, thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Amy. This is how I feel every day. I try to ignore the comments and such, but you're right, it is brutal and makes me feel like a lost cause. People don't know I can lift heavy weights, do hundred of squats, or have a wicked bow pose. They just assume I eat crap, don't work out, and that I am somehow not good enough - I have heard it and had it said to my face. Which is why I keep doing what I do and hope that being a role model, regardless of my size, will bring someone who isn't healthy through the doors, because if I can do it, so can they.
ReplyDeleteI am reminded of Aibileen's line in the movie The Help "You is kind, you is strong, you is important". And you are! You are an example of what is possible in spite of the judgment. Imagine if we all believed that about ourselves :-)
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