saying no and slowing down

Gents, I'm not leaving you out but this one is targeted mainly at the ladies - and only because I hear it from them most often. 

Are you always saying yes?   Yes, I'll take on that project, yes I'll work a few extra hours, yes I'd love to help you with that, yes I'll... fill in the blank right?   "Yes" coupled with "I need to" as in - I need to do the laundry/make dinner/workout/get the kids to soccer/clean the kitchen and the list goes on again. 

And at some point we find ourselves either flat on our ass, sick and totally exhausted or crying in a heap because we're completely overwhelmed.   Because our bodies and minds have said "enough is enough".  

We want to be the perfect mom/wife/employee/student/friend who magically balances work, home, family, personal time, hobbies, etc and looks great doing it.   And saying no makes us feel like we'll be disappointing someone. 

All of this takes a toll on our health as I discovered this past week.   I've been going, going, going since the spring and in the process let my healthy eating habits and my regular workouts slide.   I mean there were new street food carts just outside my office building and they were sooooo awesome - hello shrimp po' boy sandwiches (did I mention I have a sensitivity to wheat....?)   And outside of work, instead of working out, I was working on the website or helping with fundraisers for the pool project. 

I travelled to San Francisco last week for a fabulous conference for work; I flew home on Friday and by the time B picked me up at the airport, I felt it - that scratchiness in the back of my throat.  

By Sunday I was sick as a dog and a week later, I'm still fighting it.   Still coughing, wheezing and I've barely been out of the house for an entire week.  In one word - miserable.  I missed out on spending time with visiting relatives, teaching my classes, being back at work, beautiful fall runs, walks with B and the dogs.  An entire week.  

And so, as I start to feel better, I also start to realize nobody is judging me for how much laundry is sitting & waiting to be done; how well I plan meals; or how regularly I workout - I am the only one judging me.  Friends and family may be disappointed that I can't help them with something; but that is their sentiment to own, not mine to be fearful of.  

And so begins the practice of saying yes ONLY because I am passionate about something and have the time to dedicate to it (and do it well).   I will fight the need to say yes out of fear of disappointing or out of a sense of obligation.   

Try it with me and let me know how you've managed to feel better about saying no and in turn, how you've managed to slow down, even if it's only a little!